5 minute read
Good morning dear readers, and welcome to an exciting new project from the team here at fazthebro.com.
As I am writing this, I am beginning day 2 of a 14 day period spent in managed isolation in New Zealand. This new blog series will examine the intricacies of managed isolation on the mind and body, have multiple reviews of my day, and of course – a ton of IT security content!
I will begin the first entry in this post. So sit back, relax, and enjoy from your own lockdown/freedom, wherever you may be.
FTBs MIQ | Day 1 | “Arrival”
A cold, dreary day. FTB was making his way to Arsenal station, backpack and suitcase in tow. The wheels of the suitcase groaned on the cobble footpath, the bearings filling up with water and grit from the rain. Perhaps the Samsonite would have been a better choice – the ratings on the Chinese suitcase bearings weren’t anywhere near ABEC standards – and even once you get into Arsenal station there is still a fair walk ahead of you. Gritting his teeth, he hoped his final destination would provide better fortunes with the weather.
The Piccadilly line was running a good service to Heathrow, not that FTB was surprised. After the Blue Bullet, this was his favourite line, closely followed by the Bakerloo. Watching the rackety train approach, what looked like a 00’s refresh car, he smiled to himself. The stations on the Piccadilly are some of the most beautiful in London, not that many of the new generation would notice from beyond their phones.
The car arrived at Terminal 2 with 80 minutes till take-off. Some people would think this is cutting it fine – he knew otherwise. How many times have you ever been close to missing a flight? The closest FTB ever came to missing a flight was in Bangkok, with a friend of his. In this occasion, the plan was to fly into Bangkok, take a taxi to the other Bangkok airport, then fly out to Vietnam. On arrival to the second airport, they realised the airport they actually were flying to Vietnam in was the one they had just left! An hour late to the flight, they still made it on.
Heathrow was eerie. Police and army were the only faces to be seen behind masks. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, as FTB went straight through all checks without delay. He thought how nice it was to travel without being held up by mongs.
He boarded the flight without incident, without speaking to anyone outside the usual twenty ‘Thank-yous’ spoken during boarding. The plane was the new Airbus A350. FTB was lucky enough to see one being built at the Airbus factory in Toulouse. One of his favourite planes, and his first time on it, was a special moment. He marvelled at the beauty of it and touched the fuselage on the way in.
Settling into his Business-class seat (FTB makes a shitload out of computers, not to mention his blog, after all) he made his drink order for a Tiger beer and got comfortable. Searching for something to watch was as tedious as it was at home. 2020 had been a shit year for a multitude of reasons, not least of which was the lack of new media. He settled on Detective Pikachu (not that bad, Bulbasaur looked awesome and Gengar ‘meh’ but quite fun) and fell asleep for the next 8 hours.
Once in Singapore, he wasn’t allowed to leave his seat before taking off again. As he took in the sweet smell of Kerosene during refueling, he thought: don’t we normally disembark to refuel safely? Guess it’s not a risk anymore. Back in the air 90 minutes later, he didn’t feel like sleeping. The smooth ride on the 87km/h tailwind combined with the turbulence prediction system on the 350 makes it easy to nod off but he felt like watching something.
Anthony Bourdain in Lagos was a great watch. He planned to recommend it to his readers.
Upon arrival in Auckland it was as he hoped – a warm blue sky day. Whisked straight from the plane into a bus, he thought again to himself how eerie the terminal was. No other flights except for his one. His MIQ destination: Holiday Inn Auckland Airport.
The Inn was 10 minutes bus ride from the Airport. One by one they disembarked the bus, checked in, had a room assigned. His room was actually pretty great. A balcony in the sun overlooking a water feature. Big double bed. Decent 4K Sony TV. He thought he could spend the time fairly easily as long as the internet was good. 80 gig down with an Ethernet cable. FTB lifted his eyebrows in surprise. Not bad.
The first meals were all vegetarian and you couldn’t choose them. For lunch was a dry bagel with what looked like chicken and brie, with a horrific potato salad on the side. Not a great start. He decided to order some beers. Steinlager pure or Corona for $5 a bottle. He heard you can’t take in your own piss anymore, as this rule always ends in disaster for Kiwis, even if they are alone it seems. When he left New Zealand almost 6 years earlier he remembered that Steinlager pure was considered to be a good beer. He left the thought at that. He closed his eyes and imagined the bright blues and reds of the Fosters can while drinking it in.
He fired up the laptop, did some admin, then played a couple games of Warzone. He got rekt multiple times then gave it up as a bad job. Another beer in the sun. Dinner arrived and was even more dog shit than the lunch – it actually looked like a dog shat on some noodles. At least the taste was so bland not to be horrible.
He conceded to bedtime at 9:30pm. He was surprised he made it so far – he woke from his last sleep 24 hours earlier Our hero settled into a dreamless sleep.
Tech Specs:
Plane speed: 1020km/h with tailwind
Room download speed: 80mb/s on Ethernet
Room TV: Sony 4K
Outside Temperature: 24 Degrees Celcius
Beer temp: ~6 Degrees approx
Food taste level: 2/8
Tugs: 3
Posted on October 30, 2020October 30, 2020
